MONACO: Blame it on Poetic Justice

By: Sam | July 26th, 2007

As the start of the season looms, it’s time for the France Offside to give you an in-depth look at each of the 20 teams vying for Hexagoal. Today, we meet AS Monaco, the team that is based in Moneyland, Europe, and supported by the Prince, but still can’t do much.

The team: Like I said, despite being set in a place where you’d think greedy footballers would like to live in, there was a mass exile out of Monaco this summer. Leaving were captain Gaël Givet to Marseille, Yaya Touré to Barcelona, David Gigliotti to Saint-Étienne and Manuel Dos Santos to Strasbourg. On the plus side, they did attract Jérémy Berthod from Lyon.

However, it’s not like they’ve got a relegation-worthy squad. In the back as usual is Flavio Roma, one of the overall better keepers in the league. The backline is a slim, but experienced one. Sylvain Monsoreau, François-Joseph Modesto, Berthod and Fabian Guedes Bolivar make up a very decent backline. The same can be said about ASM’s midfield, with the core players being Camel Meriem, Lucas Bernardi and Jaroslav Plasil. Aside from them, there’s up-and-comer Serge Gakpé, the oddly-named Croatian Jerko Leko and the Uruguayan Perez. It’s in the striker position however, that Monaco make a name for themselves. You’ve got Frederic Piquionne, Jan Koller and Jérémy Menez, for starters, a trio as good as any in the league. Some notable names up there include Pino and Vargas. Also, I just had to say that Nicolas Maurice-Belay is there as well, and he hasn’t scored a goal in 75 career matches.

Straight up, that’s a pretty good roster. If they can lure a defender and a midfielder before the time is up, it’ll be a very good roster.

The coach: No Joe Meatball or Sally Lunchpail is going to mind the bench for this club, and after they sacked Laurent Banide at the end of last season, they went and picked up a former Selecao coach, none other than Ricardo himself. This is his eleventh team since vacating his international post.

The stadium: Stade Louis II: Beautiful. ASM supporters: Shit. That’s what you get when you live in a place full of ridiculous condos and foie gras stands on the beach. People in Monaco are too busy watering their lawns with champagne to go down to the grounds.

The final say: As much as I don’t really like the principality (it’s the principle - whoa, pun) they’ve got some arguments this time around. Let’s go crazy- fifth place is where I’d see them.